Welcome to More Beautiful, a newsletter and podcast dedicated to women trying to make sense of this crazy thing called midlife. I’m thrilled that you’re here.
Landmark birthdays—you know, the ones with a zero at the end—never bothered me. But for some reason, the year before a big one always hit me hard. Blowing out 19 candles signaled that I had just one more year to enjoy being a carefree teenager. Turning 29 meant the clock was ticking on my twentysomething status. And celebrating my 39th started the countdown into middle age. Don’t even get me started on 49, which was accompanied by a more intense version of the same foreboding: “This is it! The final year before all hell breaks loose!”
So far, all hell has not broken loose.
Listen to the More Beautiful Podcast trailer.
Instead, my twenties ended up being a marathon of love, career and travel. My thirties were a blur of childrearing and community building. And my forties were a decade of personal and spiritual growth. I’m a relative newbie in the 50-plus camp, but every day I’m more curious about the challenges, evolutions and epiphanies that lie ahead.
Looking back, I think the reason for my uncertainty about aging is that midlife is often depicted as a big ol’ dead end. In corporate America’s quest to sell expensive face creams, prescription meds and self-help books, we are constantly being told what we’re getting less of as time goes by: Less career opportunity. Less time with our kids before they grow up and leave us. Less sex drive. Less memory retention. Less muscle mass and collagen. And let’s not forget less estrogen. We’re regularly reminded how that elusive little hormone is plummeting faster than we can say HRT.
Sometimes it’s enough to make me want to lock myself in my bathroom and cry. Until I remind myself that buried under all this negative press about aging is a muffled little message trying to break through to the surface: that in midlife women actually have much more, not less, of some significant stuff.
For one thing, we have more experience, which gives us more perspective. Since our younger days we’ve also developed more self awareness, confidence and peace of mind. We also have more focus on what matters in life, as well as more humility and more compassion for ourselves and others.
I believe that as long as we keep following our passions and challenging ourselves, this life stage can be more adventurous, interesting and fulfilling than it’s ever been.
It can be more beautiful.
That’s not to say I don’t feel my age sometimes. Reading glasses suck. Crow’s feet are no fun. I’m not in denial or suggesting the struggle isn’t real—just ask my soaked sheets after an occasional night sweat. Like you, I want to know why it’s suddenly challenging to keep the weight off, or have a glass of wine without waking up at 3 a.m. My girlfriends and I discuss these topics all the time, and our conversations are not all superficial (like who’s going to be the first to try a cosmetic procedure). Heavy issues like career uncertainty, health scares, empty-nest syndrome, midlife dilemmas, and aging parents are also top of mind. But no matter how real our talks are, they always end with us laughing about how we’d rather be this age than 25. Or even 35.
I’m a person who likes to dig for answers. However, during my quest for age-related enlightenment I found that most women’s health and lifestyle resources clump all females into one huge demographic. But do those workouts and beauty regimes fare as well for us as the thirtysomething set? Is that career and financial advice relevant to someone who’s been in the workforce for more than two decades? Are we facing the same relationship challenges that we did when we were younger? No, no, and absolutely not. I wanted information specifically tailored to our age group, that was relevant to us right now. But it just wasn’t out there.
That’s what I want More Beautiful to be for you: an age-appropriate resource, sounding board and community. Together, we’ll come up with strategies and solutions for both our serious and not-so-serious midlife issues. We’ll put everything into perspective—did I mention we now have more perspective? And I promise, we’ll tackle even the hardest topics with lively discussion and a good dose of humor.
It may not always be fun getting older, but supported by a community of likeminded women it feels totally doable, even exhilarating. So c’mon, grab your Peepers and all the self-compassion you can muster. Together, we’re gonna do this thing.
Maryann
