Flowers, flowers everywhere. Since taking up ikebana, my house has been overflowing with flowers, reminding me of nature’s abundant gifts.
Recently, a friend of mine was complaining that a colleague just got a book published on the very topic my pal has been writing about. “That’s it,” she said. “My book is dead in the water. Someone already took the idea and ran with it. Now I’ll never get my story published—I mean, who wants to read two books about this?”
Nuh-uh, I told her. Your book will be unique because it will have your voice, your perspective, your sense of humor. Besides, there are 8 billion people in the world—that’s a lot of potential readers.
Then I tapped into an idea that’s saved me on more than one occasion: the theory of Abundance vs. Scarcity. The concept is that you can choose either an abundance mindset or a scarcity mindset, the former being the attitude most successful people have.
If you have a scarcity mindset, you believe resources are limited. The scarcity may be real, perceived, or a combination of both. Regardless, you feel you’re lacking for something—time, money, friends, achievements, creature comforts, whatever—and that you’ll never get yours (because someone else snatched it up). Thinking this way will make you feel stressed, envious, and often too drained to stick with your long-term goals.
On the other hand, if you have abundance mindset, you believe there are plenty of resources to go around. You’re inspired by others’ success and fulfillment, and know that supporting others lifts everyone up. Those with a more abundant mindset make decisions from a healthier head space, taking actions that are in alignment with who they are and what they stand for, rather than out of competitiveness or fear. They’re also more likely to stick with their plans.
There’s a lie that acts like a virus within the mind of humanity: “There is not enough to go around. There’s lack and there’s limitation and there’s just not enough.” The truth is, there’s more than enough good to go around. There are more than enough creative ideas. There is more than enough power. There is more than enough love. There’s more than enough joy. All of this begins to come through a mind that is aware of its own infinite nature. There is enough for everyone. If you believe it, if you can see it, if you act from it, it will show up for you. That’s the truth. —Michael Beckwith
Have you ever felt stress thinking you missed the boat on something, or envy that someone else seems to be living your dream? Of course you have, you’re human.
Feeling this way often seems to happen after you’ve experienced a setback. For instance, if you just went through a breakup but want desperately to find another partner, you may suddenly start noticing “everyone” around you in great relationships—maybe even thinking that “all the good ones are taken.” Which you know isn’t true. But this story of scarcity you’re telling yourself is causing you to operate from a place of fear. Instead, tell yourself how awesome you are, how lucky someone would be to have you in their life, and go about your business doing all the things you love, so that you’re operating from a place of joy and confidence (which, by the way, others find irrisistible).
To cultivate a more abundant mindset, try to notice your thoughts, so you can question whether the beliefs you have are true or perceived. Celebrate the successes of your friends and colleagues, instead of viewing their wins as your loss. Practice gratitude for what you have, instead of fixating on what you don’t. Collaborate with people you respect, and mentor those who look up to you. Help those who are less fortunate, spreading the support and love around.
For example, my friend might snap out of her scarcity mindset by thinking, “Good for this other writer, getting that publishing deal! Now I’m motivated to finish my book! How can I support and celebrate my colleague when her book comes out? What can I learn from her?”
Changing your perspective won’t change the current realities of your life, but it can change your behavior and improve your outlook. The last couple of weeks I have been in awe of my husband, whose company was just acquired and who is facing the possible loss of a beloved job with a team of folks he adores. Intead of crying “woe is me,” he’s been trying to embrace this turn of events as an opportunity to embark on a new career adventure, maybe dive into a new industry, and collaborate with incredible new people. He’s in his 50s but he’s never once said, “I’m too old to get a job as great as this one was.” He’s literally saying, “I’m in the prime of my life, I’m great at what I do, and there’s something big around the corner!” (And I’m remembering why I married this amazing guy.)
As I sit here writing this, I’m feeling grateful for the abundance in my life: my family, my friends, my health, the joy I get from listening to music, reading, flower arranging, podcasting and writing. Sure, there are problems in my life and yes, I feel bad from time to time. But I find that focusing on what I do have, instead of what I don’t—and being genuinely grateful for it all—reels me back to that good place in no time.
