We’re all striving for balance—especially during this life stage.
Stress is a normal part of life, but these days, life seems to be throwing more and more at us.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re facing pressure from work or relationship situations, or reeling from the daily onslaught of news headlines. Any type of stress triggers your “fight or flight” response, an evolutionary tactic that releases the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. Those hormones rev up your heartbeat and send blood rushing to your muscles, heart and other important organs, getting you ready to either go to battle or run from danger.
That’s helpful if you’re being charged by a wild animal, but not so much when the “danger” comes from giving a presentation at work or thinking about national politics.
Stress that’s left unchecked can contribute to many health problems, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity and diabetes. If you frequently find yourself feeling anxious or panicked, your fight or flight mode is probably being triggered too easily and you should learn how to center yourself when entering this state.
Here are some coping strategies for how to stay calm when you’re spinning out of control.
1. Take a Deep Breath
When you’re feeling anxious, you tend to take quick, shallow breaths. This “chest breathing” lowers your oxygen supply and reinforces the fight-or-flight response. Three-part breathing, one of the foundations of yoga, disrupts that loop. Take one deep breath in through your nose and all the way into your belly; hold for a moment, then exhale slowly and fully through your mouth, paying attention to your body. The process sends a message to your brain to stop releasing stress hormones and helps you focus on the present moment.
2. Challenge Your Thoughts
Stress can trigger irrational thoughts about “worse-case scenarios.” When you experience one of these thoughts, stop and ask yourself questions such as, “Is this true? How likely is this to happen? Can I handle that?” Then, try to reframe your thinking. Instead of telling yourself, “I cannot give that presentation,” say, “People make presentations every day. I can get through this.”
3. Focus On the Positives
Always imagining the worst-case scenario is clinically known as catastrophic thinking and can increase anxiety. Rather than dwelling on negative aspects or outcomes, spend a few moments thinking positively. For instance, if your refrigerator has broken and you have to replace it, focus on the opportunity to clean out your freezer and remind yourself that the homeowners insurance you purchased is paying off.
4. Exercise
Engaging in physical activity prompts the body to release chemicals called endorphins, which interact with your brain receptors to reduce your perception of pain and trigger positive feelings. That’s why people who run claim to gain a “runner’s high,” an energizing outlook on life. So lace up your sneakers and hit the pavement, or head to the gym for your favorite workout class. Just get moving.
5. Immerse Yourself In Nature
Just five minutes of fresh air and a change of scenery can help you feel calmer and shift your perspective. The Japanese practice shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing, which is the act of being in nature and connecting with it through all the senses. Research shows that people who spend at least two hours a week in outdoor parks or other natural environments are more likely to report good health and psychological wellbeing than those who don’t.
6. Relax Your Body
Stress usually coincides with tense muscles. Practicing progressive muscle relaxation can help you calm down and center yourself. Lie on the floor with your arms by your sides. Uncross your legs and unclench your hands. Tell yourself to release your toes, then slowly move up your body, relaxing each part until you get to your head.
7. Visualize Yourself Calm
Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and imagine yourself serene. Picture your body relaxed and working through a stressful situation by staying calm and focused. You can refer back to this mental picture whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed.
8. Meditate
Meditation not only reduces stress, but can actually change the brain over time to help you manage your emotions better. Even if you think you’re not “the meditation type,” know that there are many forms of meditation that don’t involve sitting cross-legged and chanting. Even a few minutes of sitting quietly and concentrating on your breathing is beneficial. You can also try apps like Headspace and Calm.
9. Listen to Music
Music connects with your nervous and limbic systems, where your feelings and emotions live. Listening to your favorite songs can turn off your body’s stress response and help your mind recover from stress faster than it would without music. So next time you feel your anxiety level cranking up, grab some headphones and tune in to your favorite playlist.
10. Focus On an Object
One day when you’re feeling chill, find a small item that you can designate as your “centering object.” It can be a smooth rock, a stuffed animal or a piece of jewelry—it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s accessible. When you find yourself in a stressful state, take out the object and caress it to help calm yourself.
11. Practice Gratitude
Staying grateful for everything you have in your life, no matter how small, can keep things in perspective and help you maintain a positive attitude. Studies have shown that people who keep a daily gratitude journal have lower levels of cortisol. So take a few minutes at the end of each day to write down a few things you’re thankful for.
12. Call a Friend
Friendship is crucial to your mental health, especially in midlife. Reaching out to someone who can listen, make you laugh, and help you put things in perspective is one of the best types of stress relief. (While communicating online is OK, connecting over the phone or in person is even better.) But when you’re under pressure, make sure to spend time with positive, helpful people who lift your spirits instead of dragging them down.
13. Write It Down
Writing in a journal can help you get negative thoughts out of your head. Once you’re in a calmer state, you can take it a step further and compose an action plan for how to handle future bouts with anxiety.
14. Fuel Up
Keeping your body nourished is important, especially during times of stress. And if you’re hungry or not properly hydrated, many of these stress-reducing techniques won’t work. A healthy treat that doesn’t involve alcohol, caffeine, added sugar or refined carbs is the perfect pick-me-up.
15. Have An Orgasm
Yes, you heard that right. Orgasms, achieved either with a partner or without one, flood your body with the hormone oxytocin, leaving you feeling warm and fuzzy with an “afterglow” that lasts up to 48 hours. The Big O can also raise testosterone levels in both men and women, increasing sex drive and creating a self-satisfying cycle of pleasure and calm.
16. Get a Massage
Skin-to-skin contact and other forms of welcome tactile stimulation can improve your ability to cope with stress. Massage has been associated with lower blood-pressure, heart-rate, cortisol and anxiety levels. And receiving frequent hugs may help to lower your blood pressure and heart rate.
17. Watch Something Uplifting
We’re not talking about zombie shows or horror films that activate your fight-or-flight, but rather something that calms you and lifts your mood. A cooking show or something musical always works for me, as does a lighthearted comedy that distracts me and makes me laugh. (For more on the wonders laughter can do for your body and soul, read “Is Laughter the Best Midlife Medicine?”)
18. Take a Bath
OK, this one may not be prudent if you live in a drought state. But soaking in a warm tub has been proven to calm the nervous system and, because it increases serotonin levels in the body, improve your mood. For a further calming effect, light a candle or sprinkle in some scented bath salts or essential oil (see #19).
19. Try Aromatherapy
Inhaling a few drops of certain essential oils may help to reduce the perception of stress, decrease cortisol levels and promote sleep. Lavender is great for relaxation, sandalwood and clary sage may curb anxiety, lemon is a mood lifter, and chamomile can help you doze off more quickly.
20. Get Some Rest
Stress and anxiety can lead to insomnia, so you end up in a vicious cycle—not being able to sleep and then feeling worse because you’re tired. To avoid this, make sleep a priority. Go to bed early and ban electronic devices from the bedroom. Spritz some lavender essential oil on your pillow to promote feelings of calm. And think positive thoughts before hitting the pillow.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, which is common in midlife, talk to a doctor who can evaluate your symptoms and rule out other health conditions. A physician can also recommend a therapist to help you handle the feelings associated with anxiety and stress.
Sources:
Healthline: “The Effects of Stress On Your Body”
Web MD: “Exercise and Depression”
Hopkins Medicine: “The Power of Positive Thinking”
Prevention: “9 Orgasm Benefits That May Surprise You”
Yale Environment 360: “Ecopsychology: How Immersion in Nature Benefits Your Health”
The Mayo Clinic: “Stress symptoms: Effects On Your Body and Behavior”
Healthline: “Your Anxiety Loves Sugar”
Science Direct: “Self-soothing Touch and Being Hugged Reduced Cortisol Responses to Stress”
