We all have a certain degree of nostalgia for our teenage years. Who doesn’t think about the pre-smart-phone days of our youth, or reminisce about the music, fashions and pop culture we collectively experienced?
For me, a Gen Xer, the 1980s will forever have a special place in my heart. For some of you, the 70s were the time to remember. For Samantha Durbin, author of the recently released memoir Raver Girl: Coming of Age in the ’90s, the focus of her nostalgia is the San Francisco Bay Area rave culture in which she immersed herself during high school. Donning wide-legged JNCO jeans and Adidas apparel, she entered the intoxicating, sometimes dark world of underground raves, where she experimented with mind-bending drugs and built a tight community of teen partiers. Samantha attended more than 100 raves during a four-year period, and used a dictaphone to record her experiences.
Now, looking on back on those tumultuous days from the perspective of an adult and mother, Samantha understands the hell she put her parents through during her adolescence (yes, she really tested them) and has strong ideas about how she’d like to parent her own son when he’s older. Which brings up the question: How should you parent your kids if some of the stuff you did in your youth (and let’s face it, we all did something or other) you’d like to forget. Samantha and I talk about why adolescence is such an emotionally charged time of life and nostalgia for those years can be intense, how dissecting our teenage experiences can help us better understand and connect with ourselves and our kids—especially if they’re having trouble fitting in—and whether or not we would travel back to high school if magically presented with the opportunity. Samantha also reflects on how own parents handled her adolescent rebellion and angst, and reveals what she would do if her son decided to experiment with drugs one day, just like she did.
Whether you’re currently parenting a teenager, trying to make sense of your own youth, or simply waxing nostalgic for the past, you’ll have fun listening to this episode.
Samantha Durbin is a writer from Oakland, California, whose work has appeared in POPSUGAR, PureWow, The San Francisco Chronicle, Miss Grass, Tasting Table, and more. Samantha also writes and consults for brands and individuals and has a soft spot for start-ups looking to make their voice heard in the noisy world of online. Her debut book, Raver Girl: Coming of Age in the ’90s, is the first of its kind and chronicles her adventures through teendom and the San Francisco Bay Area’s raver scene in the ’90s. Find out more on Raver Girl’s website.
This episode was edited by Ryan B. Jo.
