The following is a transcript of this episode. It has been edited for clarity.
Intro: I am so excited to do something a little bit different on this season two finale of the More Beautiful Podcast. I’m chatting with Nicki Bonfilio, an intuitive counselor who can see and hear things other people can’t. Nicki is going to tell us how we can increase our personal vibration, become more intuitive and get ourselves into spiritual alignment. Then she’s going to dive into astrology, telling us what our birth charts reveal about us. And in the second half of the show, she’ll give each of us a little horoscope reading, explaining how, based on our sun signs, we’re going to be handling the changes that come with aging and what our special challenges may be. This is one you do not want to miss!
Welcome to More Beautiful, the podcast for women rewriting the midlife playbook. I’m Maryann LoRusso, and I invite you to join me and a guest each week, as we strive for a life that’s more adventurous, more fulfilling, and more beautiful than ever before.
Maryann: Welcome back to the More Beautiful Podcast. Nicki Bonfilio is an intuitive counselor who’s worked with clients all over the globe. She’s been named San Francisco’s Best Psychic. And she’s taught at the Goop Health Wellness Summit. Nicki, welcome to the More Beautiful Podcast.
Nicki: Hi, Maryann, Thank you for having me.
Maryann: Nikki, you’re clairvoyant as well as clairaudient, which means you can both see and hear things that others can’t. Please tell us about your gift and how you discovered that you had it.
Nicki: I’ve been able to see and hear things since I was a little kid. And my earliest memories, from 4 or 5 years old, I would be able to see colors or shapes or different figures. One time, when I very young, I saw the image or figure of a man standing on our lawn in our backyard. And I shared this with one of my relatives. And I quickly realized that no one else was seeing the same things that I was seeing. And so I kind of kept kept it a little bit quiet, and came out with it much later in life.
Maryann: Kids don’t edit themselves as much as adults do. But there was something in you that said, “Don’t share this?”
Nicki: Well, I did share it. And then I realized quickly that I didn’t want to make others nervous or think that I was sick or crazy or something. So I kept it a little bit quiet after that.
Maryann: That’s so interesting. And I feel sorry for little Nicki…I just want to hug her.
Nicki: It’s OK…I had a beautiful life and an amazing childhood, so it’s all good.
Maryann: OK, good…So you have an incredibly interesting background. Your first career was accounting, which when you told me about, I could not believe. Because it doesn’t seem in any way close to what you’re doing now. You’re also a doula, and you’re a certified breath therapist. And on top of that, you have a psychology degree. How do these very different skills feed into your current practice?
Nicki: So all of my different professions and certifications have given me experience in a variety of ways. When I’m working with clients or when I bump up against situation in a session, I’m able to draw in those different experiences. So for instance, if there’s a very intense situation with a client, I can bring back different memories of when I was a birth and labor doula and helping a mom through labor and that type of intensity. And I will immediately go into the most calm place internally, so that I can be present with the client and listen. Now as far as my accounting background goes..
Maryann: Yeah, how are you going to tie that in? [Laughs]
Nicki: [Laughs] So that that’s a little bit more interesting. One thing that’s really cool is to when I’m doing intuitive sessions and bringing someone through a process, it’s often very mathematical and geometrical, in my mind, and so the way that I receive information is very organized and mathematical and geometrical. So I can kind of go into that same space when I was an accountant. The other thing that’s really cool is that when I was in corporations doing accounting and finance…there is a certain amount of stress that one feels working in that corporate situation and being under the gun either for a timeline or to get projects back to the boss, that type of thing. And so when I’m working with clients, now I can empathize. And I have compassion for the type of stress they go through working in corporations. So I really bring that in [during] a session.
Maryann: Very cool. And you mentioned earlier that you see in color. I just thought about this because I was walking down the street yesterday with a friend and we were talking about an interview I heard with Chaka Khan, the singer, and she was saying she sees in color, and the high notes are purple. And as we were walking, this guy in front of us turns around and goes, “It’s synesthesia!” I hadn’t been able to think of the word! [Laughs] I wonder, do you have synesthesia?
Nicki: I can definitely see in color and sometimes different colors will come through what I’m seeing, and also hearing. As far as being musical, I don’t actually play an instrument. I love music, though, and often in a session I’ll hear different beats, or songs will come through, that I then reflect back to the client. And it might be in that perfect moment that it triggers an old memory or nostalgia related to a song that I might be hearing.
Maryann: Wow. OK, well, let’s talk about what you do. As an intuitive counselor, you offer clients a wide range of services, including alchemical healing, chemical healing and astrology. And you say you can use your abilities to remove any constricting energy that people might be facing, and to help them achieve an ideal energetic context for maximizing growth and self-awareness. Those are your words. Can you explain what that means? And how does energy come into play in our lives?
Nicki: Yes, absolutely. So in a session, because I’m able to see and hear different information, when I’m with a client, I can see different energy blocks or different areas within their body that might be holding [onto something] might not be in an area of free-flowing [energy]. And I may comment in a different way what’s coming through that will actually help to free up the energy in someone’s body, and move them into a deeper energetic alignment with themselves. And that’s kind of how I bring someone back to their their own source of energy or radiance.
Maryann: Can you see people’s auras?
Nicki: Absolutely. There are a couple of different ways that I see things, so sometimes it almost looks like a mirage, like a heat wave or a vibration. Other times it can be different. Orbs are kind of colors around someone that move in to different degrees of vividness, or it could be more dim, like a dimmer light switch at home. All the colors represent different emotions and vibrations and different locations in the body. So I will definitely use that to assist me when I’m in a in a session with a client.
Maryann: Is it like we see in the cartoons—like, do you see anger as the color red?
Nicki: Absolutely. So that’s a perfect example. And that’s what I was going to go into next…When when someone is feeling angry or passionate or frustrated, or they get triggered about something where they feel like maybe they’re out of control or they don’t know the answer, I will absolutely see like reds coming off of their head or a kind of a crown around their head will be in red. So those types of things will actually actually come through.
Maryann: It’s funny how anger and passion are both the same color. [laughs]
Nicki: Yeah, fine line. Absolutely.
Maryann: So does everybody have a unique emotional vibration? Is everybody different?
Nicki: Well, in that way, we all have different emotions that move through us that could be similar if we have sadness or joy or happiness or anger, frustration…though everyone has a different unique vibration that’s specific to them. We’re all different, we all have a certain tone or a vibration that ricochets from our soul and comes out into the world. And so emotions and vibration are different.
Maryann: You see emotions in color. Do you feel or see the vibration?
Nicki: When I see someone’s vibration, it can actually look different than an emotional experience that someone’s having in the body. A vibration can almost look like a different tone, or rhythm, or an energy frequency that that pops off the body, where an emotion may have a specific color tied to it. And a vibration often looks much deeper, it may come almost from outside of the person’s body, and begin to enter the body in a very different way, almost like ripples in a pond.
Maryann: Lately, I’ve seen so many articles about how to improve your vibration. [A vibration is the] way that the world can feel you, right? It’s your presence. So during a typical day, we’re all going through all these emotions—we could be pissed off in the morning, happy later…We run the gamut. We’re human, right? But does our vibration generally stay the same, even as our emotions change? And is there a way to change that overall vibration, like through meditation, just learning how to be more chill….whatever…Are there ways to improve it?
Nicki: That’s a really good question. So emotions do go all over the place all the time, and they move through us very quickly. If we latch onto the emotion and we run with it, we could disrupt our internal vibration. And so a way to bring yourself back into calm or presence is to become aligned with your breathing. And that’s always present in everyone, it’s free. And we can tap into it in a moment, by just dropping our attention down into our breathing. By taking a really deep breath, the emotions will keep passing on by. And that’s a way that we can bring ourselves back into center.
Maryann: So our vibrations can change.
Nicki: Absolutely, the vibration can change. And it’s more about how to release things and keep letting go. And still stay centered in the midst of possibly chaotic emotions or highs and lows of vibration.
Maryann: It’s something we’re all striving for.
Nicki: Yes.
Maryann: One thing you told me when we spoke earlier, is that 80 to 90 percent of your clients are women. And I wasn’t surprised when I heard this right. But you said most of them are over 40. What do you think is the reason so many women in midlife are coming to you? Are we seekers at this age?
Nicki: So I see a lot of women in midlife, because they’re usually experiencing big transitions. It could be empty nest, the end of a long-term marriage, a career change. And also, I’ve often noticed that women around this age will say that they feel tired. And it may not actually be physically tired. Their thoughts or their emotions might be making them feel tired, because they may not actually know where to place their attention, if all of these different changes are going on. So oftentimes, women just like to be seen and heard, because they’ve given so much to everyone else or to life. Now they think, OK, what about me? What does my life look like now, since I’ve been taking care of everyone else and doing so much…Who am I now? What is it that I want? What’s going to happen to me in the future? Where do I want to put my attention? All of those things can come out.
Maryann: “It’s my time.” I am seeing that a lot with my friends, colleagues. It’s so true…You mentioned alignment, and that is another thing we’re hearing a lot about lately: the need to get ourselves into alignment. If there was ever a time to attempt to do that, it’s midlife, right? Because as you mentioned, many of us have been dedicating our lives to serving other people, raising families, all of that. What does alignment mean to you? And what does it feel like when you’re in alignment?
Nicki: So when you’re in alignment, it feels fabulous and amazing. And one moment is better than the next. I would say that being in alignment has to do with our thoughts, our emotions, and our internal gut vibration, being in alignment and moving from that place forward. When we’re out of alignment…say, for instance, we’re out to lunch with a friend, yet in our mind, we’re thinking about a work project tomorrow. And then we don’t even notice [things happening around us]. If someone is in alignment, their thoughts and their presence, their emotions and their body and everything is right there, present with their friend having lunch. So being in alignment is essential. Not only can we enjoy life better, but we’re going to be less distracted and less pulled in different directions.
Maryann: I also think alignment is when…your beliefs match up with your actions and your thoughts—when it all comes together and you don’t feel like you’re faking any part of your life.
Nicki: Yes. And what I would say with that, I like to phrase it as our internal is matching our external Yes, well said thank you. So the internal vibration—our thoughts, who we are and how we feel—is matching our external circumstances and how we show up in the world, then we’re totally in alignment. We’re golden and feeling great and on top of the world, and the energy can just move through us in a way that assists us rather than depletes us.
Maryann: It’s amazing how the universe gives you what you want when you are feeling in alignment. Right?
Nicki: Yes. And on that note, the universe—or life or presence, or the sun or the moon, whatever you believe—is always giving us what we want and what we need, though [that internal space] might not be able to feel or to hear that energy if we’re distracted or in a different dimension.
Maryann: Yeah, one thing I told you that I’m really trying to do is get more out of my head more into my body during midlife. And you told me that this is something a lot of women this age want. Can you give us some tips on how to do that, because really, it’s easier said than done.
Nicki: Yes, the quickest way to get out of our head and into our body is to align ourselves with our breathing. The breath is like the bridge between mind and body, soul and everything else. As long as we can stay connected to our breathing, we’re already dropping into our body. So it can literally be our thoughts come through the top of our head, we can drop our thoughts straight down into the center of our chest. And just notice how we’re breathing and, and move from that place forward. Another way to do that is just simply to use our hands; put a hand on our chest and our other hand on our belly and take three long deep breaths and let it go. And in a moment, you may notice that your thoughts start to quiet down a little bit or you’re not as attached to them.
Maryann: I got excited when you said “use your hands.” I’m Italian. so I use my hands a lot when talking. [Laughs]
Nicki: Me too. [Laughs]
Maryann: But you’re talking about using your hands to calm yourself—not flip someone the finger [Laughs]
Nicki: Exactly. [Laughs] Another way to get into the body is to use water; just splash some cold water on your face or wash your hands. Also, get up if we’ve been sitting too long. Get up, move around, take a breath, shake your arms out and let yourself be mobile.
Maryann: I don’t think I have a choice at this age. I have to keep getting up because my tailbone hurts. Right now I’m [podcasting from] my closet and sitting on this uncomfortable little stool…But Nicki, isn’t “getting out of your head” also about just moving, like dancing or walking with a friend? Because we live in a world where just we’re in front of our screens all the time.
Nicki: Yes, and that isn’t natural. We have to remember that we’re mammals. We have these fantastic brains. Tailbones that hurt when we sit too much [laughs]. So we do need to get out, get some fresh air, laugh, smile, hang out with friends, dance, make sure we’re eating. Make sure we’re eating correctly, and feeding our body and soul with things that make us feel alive.
Maryann: Yeah, I like that: Things that make us feel alive…So Nikki, I can’t even imagine what it’s like to see things about a person that others can’t see. Has your gift ever affected your personal relationships? Has it ever thrown a wrench in a relationship or maybe taken one to a deeper level?
Nicki: I wouldn’t say that it’s ever thrown a wrench in a relationship, though I definitely have insight that comes through me, that will affect other people, if I share it with them. And I can remember, back in the 90s, I was with a friend. And he was having a lot of different physical issues. And I was with him one time when he fainted. And in that moment, I could see the source of what was going on. And when he came to, I basically shared that I saw that he had a mass in his head, and I was getting that it was most likely a brain tumor. And I shared the size and location where I saw it. And that week, he went up to UCSF and got an MRI and they found a brain tumor, the exact size and location where I saw where I was seeing.
Maryann: Did you ever consider not telling him? Did that run across your mind?
Nicki: Well, in that moment, I didn’t hesitate because he hadn’t been feeling well for a while. And I felt like I was going to help him. And I saw the source of most likely what was happening. And I really wanted to share this with them. And it turns out after going through all the tests that he was able to have surgery, and he lived through it. And it was a miraculous recovery…
Maryann: You saved his life.
Nicki: I believe I really helped to save his life in that moment. And that was a turning point in my life where I pivoted careers.
Maryann: I think every hospital should have somebody like you on staff. I mean, think of all the people that go through test after test after test and they never figure out what’s wrong. Right?
Nicki: Absolutely. And so a lot of my the work that I do is from a medical intuitive standpoint, I’m not a doctor, I’m not a nurse, and I’ve never been to medical school. However, I can sometimes help someone, or give someone clarity about what I’m seeing and sensing and then offer that information to them. Hopefully it will help them to move forward and feel better, or at least find a way to help help diagnose what might be happening, so they can take that information to their medical professionals and see if it helps.
Maryann: Have you ever seen something in a friend or acquaintance, maybe not as serious as a brain tumor, that you maybe didn’t want to reveal to them? Or that you hesitated in revealing?
Nicki: That’s a really good question that came up many, many years ago with a with a friend. I could see that most likely their spouse was being unfaithful.
Maryann: Wow.
Nicki: I just [saw] different images coming up around them.
Maryann: Did you know their spouse?
Nicki: Yes. And in that moment—it was a tricky one for me, because that’s none of my business. And it wasn’t my responsibility to share what I was seeing. So in that moment, I had to really be careful and to ask, “Does this need to be spoken?” And I asked that in a totally different way to the universe or life or up above. And in that moment, I talked about it in a different way, because I got a neutral answer when I was asking for my own guidance in that way to help a friend. And I shared it in a different way. And so I just inquired, “How’s it going at home?” And that’s how the conversation started.
Maryann: You say you saw those images coming off of your friend’s body, not their partner’s?
Nicki: I was just with my friend at the time. And so when I was tuning in with her, and we were out taking a walk, I could see different images around her that related to her husband. And I was sure it was her husband, and not just some random person, because the image of him came into what I was seeing.
Maryann: I once saw a friend’s significant other at a bar with somebody. And I did not say anything. It wasn’t a close friend. If it had been a close friend, I don’t know. But I did not say anything. I was just like, nope, not getting involved, I’ve got my own problems. [Laughs]
Nicki: Yeah. Because it’s none of your responsibility, right? It’s also none of our business. And I always believe the truth will come out eventually.
Maryann: Yes. And I always talk about my Italian grandma on the show, but she used to say, you never know what goes on behind closed doors, you don’t know what someone’s relationship is like…OK, I’m so excited about this next part of our chat, because another service you offer is astrology. And you often entwine some astrological readings into your counseling sessions. And I find the idea of a birth chart so interesting, because it’s so unique to each of us. Can you tell us why birth charts reveal so much?
Nicki: Yes, I love astrology. I’ve been studying it since I was a teenager, which is a very long time ago. And our birth chart is like a blueprint for our entire life. It’s a magnificent template of creative possibilities that go far beyond the logical linear way of thinking. A birth chart can describe one’s personality, their life path, their strengths and weaknesses. It offers detailed information about our calling, or our mission in life, almost like a destiny direction. It can give us a plethora of information. It’s a template, a blueprint for our life.
Maryann: And for those listeners out there who don’t know how to get their birth charts, there are some websites where you punch in your exact time of birth and the location of your birth and you can get your birth chart. It’s fascinating and very detailed. And it probably took me a year to figure out what all those symbols mean.
Nicki: I’ve been studying in my own birth chart for over 30 years, and I’m still learning new information!
Maryann: I’m waiting for you to write the book on how to how to interpret our birth charts.
Nicki: Oh, maybe I will one day…
Maryann: So everybody knows their sun sign. That’s the sign you look up when you’re looking up your horoscope. But not many know their moon sign and their ascending sign. Can you elaborate on those other two aspects of our personality and why they are important as well?
Nicki: Sure. The moon sign is the internal position. This is someone’s own place of privacy, their internal emotional place of being, their temperament. The ascending is also called the rising sign. And it’s the external energy or consciousness. It’s how a person presents themselves in any environment. And the ascending sign combines with the sun sign, so the sun sign is specific to that person, basically the month that someone was born. So it’s really someone’s personality, their external expression, how they show up and how people know them. The sun sign combined with the rising sign is how we show up. And the really cool thing about the rising or the ascending sign is that each is ruled by a planet. And the planet that rules the ascending sign is the planet that rules the entire chart. So the ascending signs are really essential.
Maryann: Hmm. So I’m an Aries sun sign, but I’m a Leo ascending. I don’t even know which planet rules Leo. But that would be my planet, not Mars, which rules Aries?
Nicki: Leo is ruled by the sun. So we can say that the sun rules your entire chart.
Maryann: So the ascending sign really is important.
Nicki: It’s essential in really getting to know who you are, in a much deeper way.
Maryann: Wow. Because I was actually fascinated when I found out my moon sign…which refers to how you are when you’re alone, right? How you are in private and in your inner life?
Nicki: Yes, your moon sign reflects your inner place of privacy, your internal emotions, how you feel. It’s a place where no one else gets to visit. Your moon sign is essential to who you are internally. Now, when people feel really comfortable with others, their moon sign comes out. And they can be seen or let themselves be vulnerable. Your moon sign can be totally different from their rising/ascending sign and also their sun sign. Unless the moon sign is the same as the rising and the sun.
Maryann: That’s interesting. In that case you’d get a double whammy of whatever that is.
Nicki: Absolutely.
Maryann: So when you give somebody an astrology reading, generally what happens and what kind of insight is revealed?
Nicki: In astrology, there are many different types of readings. We can read a natal or birth chart, there are solar return charts, there are composite charts. So there are all different ways to read a chart. It’s very complicated and complex, though I feel the natal chart reading is the primary chart. That’s the place where we start. It’s the time of our birth. And one can learn about anything in those sessions: What they’re drawn to, what their strengths and weaknesses might be in their life. It could even give someone insight on the type of partner that they might be drawn to. It can [reveal whether] someone’s an introvert or an extrovert. One area that I love in a natal birth chart are the nodes. There’s a South Node and a North Node. And it’s almost like the energy that we come into in life, even in your in utero.
Maryann: Wow, really?
Nicki: In the first part of our life we’re living through our South Node energy. It’s almost like a theme or a vibration that will take us all the way up through our early 40s. And let’s say after 44 after 45—if someone lives that long—their energy flips into the North Node. And the North light is really the destiny direction. So that’s why in midlife…is really a time where often life changes altogether. It’s because we’re now living through our North Node vibration.
Maryann: OK, you gave me something totally new and unique and fascinating to research. Thank you.
Nicki: You’re welcome. Anytime!
Maryann: I thought it would be so much fun if we could briefly talk about each sun sign and how each personality type might have a different attitude about getting older and…dealing with all the change that happens in midlife. Maybe we could give each sun sign a tip or two on how to get the most out of life during this crazy time? I have a little list here because I don’t remember the order of all the sun signs, but I guess we’ll start with the first one, Aries, which is my sun sign.
Nicki: In Western astrology, Aries is the youngest sign sign and the beginning of the zodiac. And I like to look at all the different sun signs related to their location in the body as well. Aries is ruled by the head, or by the brain. Aries are very quick and fast, and if others aren’t keeping up with them, they might tend to be a little bit impatient…
Maryann: Guilty as charged!
Nicki: [Laughs] If they’re too much in their mind, they might be prone to headaches, or kind of feeling too hot in their head.
Maryann: You got me! [Laughs]
Nicki: A great tip for Aries would be to go out and have an adventure. Have fun, play with your friends hook up for a nice dinner, take a long walk, laugh and play and goof off. Try to get away from your thoughts and out of your head.
Maryann: See, I always joke around that with Aries, in terms of aging, we’re not going to go quietly into the night. Not that we’re fighting aging, but we’re like, “I’m not gonna let aging get in my way!”
Nicki: Yeah, exactly…You’re not giving into it. Right? Because remember, Aries is the most courageous sign and you’re gonna go out and create whatever it is that you want.
Maryann: We’re also the most naive, because we are the youngest sign. Maybe we’re infantile…So what about Taurus?
Nicki: Taurus is ruled by the neck or the throat. And Taurus is a fixed earth sign. So what that means is, if you know of any Taureans, they can be very stubborn and grounded and sometimes unwilling to move. And so what I would say with Taurus is that, as you’re going through midlife, go out and get some fresh air. Go outside and move your body. Take a dance class, get a massage, don’t take yourself so seriously.
Maryann: Taurus is a very sensual sign, so they would love a massage. My moon is in Taurus, so I can relate. Taurus is also a very loyal sign, right?
Nicki: The sun sign is ruled by Venus, so they’re very loving and sweet and kind, and they’re very sensual. And things are tangible. So that’s why a massage would really lighten up a Taurus and bring them—usually—right into balance.
Maryann: What about Gemini?
Nicki: Gemini is a mutable Air sign, which means that they’re very flexible and very social. And if you know any Geminis, they can keep up a conversation and they’re very chatty. They can goof off and be silly. Gemini is ruled by the arms and the hands and also the nervous system. So if you’re a Gemini, remember to get more grounded. And the way to do that is through dance and moving in your body and playing with friends. Go out and hear a concert, play some music, sing and dance and goof off. And that will really free up energy.
Maryann: That’s great homework. OK, what about cancer?
Nicki: So cancer is a cardinal water sign. And the location of cancer is ruled by the breast or by the chest. Cancers are usually home in themselves, and they also love their homes. So with a Cancer, what I would say is to first of all, be gentle and kind to yourself, don’t put so much pressure on yourself. And if there are any Cancers out there who are moms and the kids are going off to college or leaving the home, remember that you’re always a mom to anyone that you come across. So share your love. Let yourself be vulnerable and be seen. Maybe get into different nonprofits that are helping others in any way that interests here. Hmm,
Maryann: Yeah, cancers are sweet. OK, Lee—late July, early August.
Nicki: Leo is a fixed fire sign. Leos are very passionate, very charismatic, ruled by the sun, very powerful. The body parts for Leo are the heart and the upper back and the spine. Leos tend to be very proud and very in themselves. One of the gifts of being a Leo is that Leo is ruled by the sun. And when we say what is someone’s sun sign, if we’re born in any month, we’ll give the answer of the sun sign. But Leo is actually ruled by the sun. So Leos are at home in themselves, because that’s an exalted position. Because the sun rules Leo, they’re very charismatic. One thing that would really help Leo is to remember that they’re always magnificent. Even when they’re going through midlife or later in life, they can still be proud of anything that they’re doing in that moment. So if their stardom was back as a teenager or in their early 20s, we can bring in all that information, and still have it be relevant today. So a Leo never loses any of their passion or their charisma. They’re always fabulous.
Maryann: So no glory days for Leos. They’re always in their glory days.
Nicki: They’re always in their glory days, because they’re ruled by the sun. So as long as the sun is shining, Leos can radiate from the inside out.
Maryann: OK! So what about Virgo?
Nicki: Virgo is a mutable earth sign, which means that Virgos can be very flexible. If you know of any Virgos or if you’re a Virgo listening out there, you can go with the flow and be flexible. Now in the body Virgos are ruled by the intestines, the abdomen, the digestion system. So if a Virgo feels a little bit off, or maybe tends to worry or feels slightly anxious, they’re going to feel it in their gut. And so what I would say with a Virgo is, remember that everything does not need to be perfect. And you do not need to be perfect all the time. Just your intention of showing up with love and compassion and kindness is enough.
Maryann: Yeah, because they really do tend to be perfectionists, right?
Nicki: Yeah, because Virgos are very focused on the details. And they’re masters at minutiae. They’re experts with the details, usually quite intelligent, and very organized and very focused on having it all together. They can really multitask like no other.
Maryann: So if anybody out there needs a copy editor or personal assistant, look for a Virgo.
Nicki: Yeah, exactly.
Maryann: OK, so now we’re up to Libra. What about Libra?
Nicki: Libra is a cardinal Air sign, meaning Libras are usually super intelligent, and their minds are moving so quickly, and they want to create from their minds and go forward. Now, Libra is also ruled by the planet of Venus. So Libras tend to be very loving and kind and are drawn to harmony and balance. They tend to be physically beautiful, and they like every environment to be beautiful, beautifully aesthetic. Libra in the body is ruled by the lower back and the kidneys. And so kidneys in a different way can be emotions, or if one gets fearful in their body that can show up in our kidneys or in our lower back. So what I would also say for Libras out there is that, again, things do not need to be perfect…It’s OK to come across a little bit disheveled, or if someone went outside and they meant to put on black shoes and they grab maybe navy blue shoes by accident, it’s OK. They’re still going to look fabulous.
Maryann: And your house could be messy once in a while.
Nicki: Exactly. It can be messy.
Maryann: No one’s judging.
Nicki: Out of order, right.
Maryann: OK, Scorpio. My daughter’s a Scorpio. It’s an interesting sign. But they get a lot of flack!
Nicki: Scorpios do get a lot of flack. Scorpio is a fixed water sign. They’re the most powerful sign in the zodiac, and they’re very, very sensitive and emotional and extremely strong and resilient in the body. Scorpio is ruled by the genitals, the reproductive organs…
Maryann: I hope my husband isn’t listening to that. [Laughs]
Nicki: [Laughs]
Maryann: You didn’t hear that, Steve!
Nicki: What I would say with Scorpio is to not take yourself so seriously. Be gentle with yourself in going through midlife and going through life altogether. Try to have more fun, and put your energy into something that you believe that you’re passionate about. And share yourself. A lot of Scorpios tend to be very private. They’re ruled by the scorpion. And so if we can imagine a scorpion out in the wild, they’re very fierce and they hide under the rock and they like to be in the shade and in the shadows. In the unseen. That’s where they thrive. So what I would say with a Scorpio is share yourself, reveal yourself. We want to know who you are.
Maryann: That’s great. OK, Sagittarius, I don’t know many Sagittariuses, but I hear they’re incredibly fun.
Nicki: Sagittarius is incredibly fun, that’s for sure. Sag is a mutable fire sign, the oldest or the wisest of all the fire signs. And so they’re ruled by Jupiter, which is the planet of expansion and abundance and beauty and colors. So a Sag is drawn to anything that piques their interest. They love a lot of variety and higher thinking and philosophy and truth. Sagittarius is ruled by the thighs and the upper legs, so as someone’s going through midlife, remember to love your body. Love your legs, love your thighs. Move your body, dance and sing and goof off. Go on a fabulous trip where you’re learning something new. Buy a hula hoop!
Maryann: Wow. Later, we gotta check and see if Tina Turner’s a Sagittarius.
Nicki: Tina Turner IS a Sagittarius.
Maryann: No?!? No way!
Nicki: She is! See, you just got that.
Maryann: That is crazy! I was kidding.
Nicki: We need to switch jobs.
Maryann: OK, Capricorn is next…I have so many Capricorn friends and my sister is a Capricorn.
Nicki: Capricorn is a cardinal earth sign. They’re the oldest of the earth signs. And they’re ruled by Saturn. In the body, Capricorn is ruled by the bones and joints and sometimes the knees or teeth. So it’s a lot about structure. What I would say with a Capricorn is, you’ve got it in your career. Capricorn rules the career house. And so mostly, and most of the time, a Capricorn is going to succeed in anything they do with their career, or in work. They’re very diligent and step by step by step they’re going to create their own empire very methodically. Now, what I would say with the Capricorn is as one goes through later in life or through midlife, is that may be a great time to change careers, or to let yourself have more fun in your career.
Maryann: Because they’ve worked so hard!
Nicki: They’re worked so hard. They’re the workers. And so have more fun. Use the rest of your life in a way that you can actually enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Maryann: Hmm, good advice. Next is Aquarius…This is such an interesting sign. So eccentric. My husband is Aquarius.
Nicki: Yes, well, Aquarius and Aries get along really well together. So I’m sure you guys are a great match.
Maryann: Yes!
Nicki: Aquarius is the fixed Air sign. It’s also the the wisest and the oldest of the air signs. Aquarians are absolutely brilliant, and almost other-worldly, and very eccentric, and they get ideas and informations like no other sign. Also, Aquarians are very sweet and kind and loving. They love people. They’re very generous, they’re very heartfelt. And can pick up a conversation with anyone. And in the body, Aquarius rules the calves and the shins and the ankles. If an Aquarius needs grounding, I would say take a long hike, work out, cycle, run, get a massage, and to also share and reveal yourself more. One of the things about Aquarians is that because they’re extraordinarily intelligent and receive inspiration and ideas that come through their minds, often quite quickly, they can do a lot in their minds and create and solve the answer before ever sharing that with someone else. So what I would say with an Aquarius is share yourself, share your thoughts, and have a conversation and collaborate before you come to the answer internally, without actually collaborating with the person whom you really want to share with.
Maryann: So true. That’s great. If we go back a second to Capricorn…You mentioned their bones. Are they more prone to getting osteoporosis than other signs? I’m just curious about that.
Nicki: No. All I would say to Capricorns about that is to always make sure that your body feels really supple as you go through life. So move and walk or run or swim. Swimming is beautiful for Capricorns because Capricorn is an earth sign. And when we can balance that energy with water. They’ll feel really incredible and in alignment in themselves. So use water, go for a swim.
Maryann: So Pisces is the final sign. Aren’t they the most intuitive sign?
Nicki: Pisces are the most intuitive sign. Pisces is a very magical sign in Western astrology. Pisces completes the entire astrology chart. And so Pisces is ruled by the feet. And so if a Pisces ever needs to feel more grounded, they can get a reflexology treatment, or just soak their feet and warm water. Pisces is often a very mystical sign. So if we picture this symbol of Pisces, we see two fishes swimming in the opposite direction. And so it’s very important that a Pisces has structure. Or if we think of goldfish in a fishbowl, we need the fishbowl as a vessel for the goldfish to live. So it’s very important that Pisces has structure in their life. And whatever structure is for them, they will thrive. Now the magnificent thing about Pisces is that, because it’s the end of the Western astrological zodiac, a Pisces actually comprises every other sign within themselves. So they’re able to be anything that they want to, really, in any moment. They can call on any other sign at any moment and share that.
Maryann: So if Aries is the first sign and Pisces is the last, does that mean that Pisces tend to be older souls?
Nicki: That can often be the case. A Pisces can be an older soul, though, and Aries can actually be an old soul too. The vibration or the concept of an old soul is interesting. I believe that anyone can be an old soul. If one remembers in this lifetime, then they are an old soul.
Maryann: You could have had 1,000 lives, but you pop up as an Aries in this life, then you’re at the beginning of the cycle again. So it’s kind of tricky.
Nicki: In another lifetime, an Aries may have been a Pisces. So now in this lifetime, you’re learning and experiencing more play and more freedom and more goofing off. And so it could be maybe a challenge for an Aries sometimes to tap into those deeper places in themselves that will awaken that soul energy.
Maryann: Nicki, do you believe each of us has some degree of intuitive ability? And is it possible to sharpen those intuitive skills?
Nicki: I think that we’re all intuitive, and that we all have that ability to be intuitive, and to sharpen our own intuitive ability through meditation, breathing, yoga, being a nature, and also believing that you are intuitive. There are many, many people who are intuitive. I can see how intuitive they are, yet they may not believe it, or they may be fearful of it. And if we have fear, it’s going to block the intuition from coming through us. So I’d like to just remind everyone that there’s nothing to be afraid of. When those intuitive feelings come through you, when the gut feelings come through you, when you just know something is true, it’s true. There’s nothing to be afraid of. And we all have that ability.
Maryann: That’s beautiful. And do you think our intuitive ability gets stronger as we get older, as long as we stay in this growth mindset?
Nicki: It absolutely can if we sharpen our chops, so to speak. And if we really practice wanting our own intuition to come through more and more. So as we get older, we can absolutely be more intuitive, if we’re open to that. If we want it. And some people, whether it’s fear, or they may not be interested, or they may not want to change something internally, if our own intuition is bumping up against a really big change that we know we need to make in our lives, we may pooh-pooh the intuitive part of ourselves. We may not want to change because it’s inconvenient, right? It may just feel like it’s too challenging or too hard yet, things are actually way more simple in life. Things are really simple.
Maryann: The phrase “listen to your gut” isn’t BS.
Nicki: It’s really the truth. It’s not BS at all. And also remember that intuition goes hand in hand with love. And I think the main thing in life is love, and to love ourselves. That phrase “love is the answer?” I believe it’s absolutely true. If we come from a place of self love, and really loving ourselves and moving from the inside out, with pure, bright love, every moment is going to be better than the next.
Maryann: Couldn’t agree more. And that’s it. There’s nothing to say after that. You just you said it all.
Nicki: That’s it.
Maryann: Oh, Nikki, thank you so much. This was so interesting. So fascinating. You are amazing. Tell everybody out there where we can find you.
Nicki: Oh, thank you. It’s been wonderful being here with you today. Thank you again for having me. And online it’s my first and last name Nikkibonfilio.com.
Maryann: Thank you so much, Nicki, and have a great day. And don’t tell me if you see something weird in my aura
Nicki: [Laughs] OK!
Outro: Thank you so much for tuning in to More Beautiful. Please visit Morebeautifulpodcast.com for show notes and bonus content. And it would mean so much if you could subscribe, rate and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening See you next week for another great conversation!
