The following is a transcript of this episode. It has been edited for clarity.
Intro: Now that you’re a certain age, are you finding it harder to maintain your weight, strength or energy level, or wondering how to work out without getting injured? On this week’s More Beautiful podcast, I chat with fitness coach Judy Arazoza about how to approach exercise in midlife. We discuss the importance of shaking up those old routines and working out differently as we age, the small lifestyle changes we can make to look and feel our best, and why getting into the right mindset can help to jumpstart our health and fitness goals. Welcome to More Beautiful, the podcast for women rewriting the midlife playbook. I’m Maryann LoRusso, and I invite you to join me and a guest each week as we strive for a life that’s more adventurous, more fulfilling, and more beautiful than ever before.
Maryann: Hey, welcome back. My guest today is the lovely Judy Arazoza, fitness trainer, the owner of Grateful Fitness in New York, and the host of the air hug community podcast. Judy, welcome to the More Beautiful podcast, and Happy New Year.
Judy: Happy New Year. And thank you so much for inviting me to chat with you.
Maryann: I’ve been so excited for our chat all week, because I love talking about fitness. And you are a fitness trainer and you specialize in fitness for women in midlife, which I think is so cool. So the first question I want to ask you is, a lot of women out there would love to know what’s going on with our bodies in midlife, especially right now, when many of us are experiencing hormonal changes. Why do some of us hit a wall in terms of our fitness goals, or maybe don’t feel as strong as we used to? Can you tell us what’s going on, Judy?
Judy: You know, I wish I could tell you that it was a very predictable time. But about the only thing that we can predict is that we don’t really know how our body’s going to respond. The one thing we do know is that old ways are not going to work anymore. And we are getting weaker if we’re not doing something to get stronger.
Maryann: Can you tell us why some of the exercise routines and programs that were so beneficial to us when we were younger maybe suddenly aren’t working for us? Like for instance, high intensity interval training. Are there other examples you can think of?
Judy: Yeah, I think intensive cardio has its place, but is a number one method which may have worked for young adult women. When we had different hormones and we were in childbearing years, you know, it may have worked, and it was pretty easy to just kind of burn off a few extra calories. At this point in time, if we’re over 40 and we’re moving on, we’ve spent about a decade already of losing muscle mass just by normal aging and normal changes in hormones. And so the primary focus of our exercise must shift to building muscle, because we’re trying to get back what we don’t have. In some cases, some women who were—I dare say—cardio junkies may have actually literally run their fanny off.
Maryann: Wow. [Laughs]
Judy: I don’t know if this is a G rated thing or not
Maryann: You can say whatever you want.
Judy: Yeah, I’ve had women who literally have ran their ass off. And it just doesn’t work.
Maryann: Yeah. So how much muscle are we losing every year after 40? Do you know?
Judy: You know, it’s a very small amount, but you actually start losing it somewhere roughly around age 30. You’re going to notice it because it’s been compounding—it’s kind of like interest, right, in the opposite direction. It’s been compounding for 10 years already, so you’re going to notice a difference from 30 to 40, 40 to 50, and even 50 to 60, if we haven’t been investing in lean muscle mass. And so the focus of our fitness has to be investing in lean muscle mass, along with safe maneuvers in protecting our joints.
Maryann: Right. When you and I were chatting a couple of weeks ago, remember I told you that once I turned 40—and now I passed 50—I was Googling over-40 workouts for perimenopause and I was coming up short. There was nothing out there. Why do you think that is?
Judy: I don’t know. Because at this point in time, the baby boomers are all in this category now. And so I think the fitness industry is lagging behind it a little bit. And I had that same frustration, to be honest with you, which is why I had always wanted to be a fitness trainer. I was in healthcare before and I thought, well, if I’m going to do this, I’m going to target people like me who are looking for answers.
Maryann: Yeah, tell us a little bit about your journey and how you came to specialize in women in midlife.
Judy: So back in my 20s, my husband and I were young and married people, and we were both in health care. And I elected to do the stay at home mom thing. And then four kids later, actually about two kids later, I was like, I need to figure out a way to exercise. And so I would exercise at home before my kids got up, and I would just, you know, the Internet was in its infancy, we were still getting mail order exercise catalogs, right? And that’s how I got started. And even that just wasn’t fitting the bill. And I was very inventive, I would do a lot of reading and such. And when my youngest child could drive himself to school, I went, OK, here’s my opportunity. I’m going to go ahead and get certified as a personal trainer and nutrition coach, and let’s see where I can take this. And I even went around to gyms and thought, maybe I’ll work for someone. And I was like, you know what, nobody is addressing this. And so I just started it myself.
Maryann: Right, good for you. That’s amazing. And amazing that you also tried to work out all through, you know, child rearing and raising your kids. It’s so hard during that time period. What motivated you to keep going?
Judy: You know, this is kind of funny, but I think it was the only time in the day when I was alone. And I would get that little endorphin rush and feel really good about it. And I’m like, I can go on for the rest of the day, it will be fine. It was just something that I felt really good about doing, and results started happening. But I did get to a point—you know, I started out with step aerobics, because it was the video I could buy, you know? I probably hit 100 step videos, and I do look fondly on those days, but they were no longer cutting it either.
Maryann: Oh God, the things that we all went through. I remember Tae Bo, I was into Tae Bo in the 90s. I’m really dating myself here.
Judy: Yeah, you know, a lot of trial and error. And I love to read and research and so I directed my energy in that way.
Maryann: Yeah, you said something really interesting to me. When we chatted a couple of weeks ago, when I told you that I was not able to find information about women over 40 and workouts, you said that the industry doesn’t see over 40 or over 50 bodies as being fit and beautiful and sculpted and lean. And that may be because they didn’t think anybody wanted to know. And that really struck a chord with me, because I think I think you’re onto something.
Judy: I really think that it was definitely lacking, you know, for women. And yeah, you look at fitness commercials and you see people in our age group in there. They might be like, OK, you want to be fit enough so that you could play fetch with your dog or this or that, but to take it a step further and just be the best that you can be? I don’t see a lot out there. I think it’s changing, though. I do think it’s changing as time is going on. And so it’s not unheard of, I think, if people Google it now. And you know, I laugh, because I probably need better search terms on my own website to tell me what you were searching.
Maryann: Right. And of course, we’ve all since then seen Jennifer Lopez swinging on a pole for that movie Hustlers, with the muscles. And I mean, I think you’re right, it’s slowly changing. And I think we’re starting to see what’s possible in a body over 40. And not to say that everybody needs to be, you know, sculpted, but we need to be like, we could still be the strongest version of ourselves that we want to be, right?
Judy: Yeah, because along with strength comes health. Here’s the thing—and I do still struggle with this with a lot of clients. It’s like, I don’t want you to lose weight for a number on the scale. Let’s see how consistent you can be with your healthy behaviors. How often can you get in the gym? If you trust me, I’ll give you safe workouts, you know, or find someone who will, someone who’s done their homework. And then the idea is to invest in the habit of getting to the gym and doing the healthy workout and eating the food that actually agrees with your body.
Maryann: Right, right. And you cover food and diet and exercise with your clients, correct?
Judy: That’s true.
Maryann: Yeah. They must work in conjunction with each other, right? Like there’s this symbiotic relationship between food and exercise.
Judy: Absolutely, absolutely. And I think a lot of times people just think they don’t want to invest in the nutrition side of it. And I think you have to, first of all, go ahead and make the commitment and invest in something like that. Because if you just say I’m going to eat less and work out more, that’s not a recipe. If that works, what happens is a body is really, really adaptable. And so for two things, if you’re doing the same workout all the time—let’s say the people running—it’s a great example of what a lot of younger women do. You run the same five miles for all these years and your body becomes so efficient at it that it takes very little energy to do that, compared to an exercise program that is different and evolving. And also, if you’re continuously under-eating, your body is just going to clamp down and put out less energy because it thinks that you’re starving it. So the body adapts in that way as well.
Maryann: Yeah, I hit that wall with running, myself. I’ve been running since I was a teenager. And you’re right, like, you do hit that wall. It’s not working anymore. You have to shake it up, do a little cross training. My husband wants me to get on the bike, which I really do not like. I have to confess I don’t like cycling. But yeah, there are other things you could do, I mean, hike, weight training like you said, there’s so much out there.
Judy: Yeah. And actually, the fact of the matter is—and there’s research after research, I’m not prepared to quote you, but there’s so much research that says the major amount of energy that we spend on getting fit has to be in resistance training. And that’s what’s going to serve us the best, because again, we’re having that natural muscle loss. By the way, that’s called sarcopenia. And so that’s what we’re fighting against. The more muscle you allow your body to lose, the less you’re able to eat. So your body gets maintained on less food, and I don’t know about you, I love to eat. I’m from Italian origin. I love to eat.
Maryann: Hello, me too. [Laughs]
Judy: [Laughs]
Maryann: So, some people hear ‘weight training’, right, and they get scared. They’re thinking, oh my god, I gotta go to the gym. I gotta pump iron. You know, what does that mean? Like, how can you start if you’ve never done it before?
Judy: You can start by doing bodyweight exercises. You know, bodyweight squats. Learn how to do a squat properly. And if that’s scary, you can start by literally sitting in a chair to squat and standing back up with it, but engaging your muscles and engaging your core muscles. And it’s amazing that when you put that mind to the muscle, a little goes a long way. And again, once you adapt, then maybe you’ll add a little bit of weight, add a little bit of weight, as you go. And that’s where a well written program and someone who’s watching you can actually help.
Maryann: Yeah, I like the idea of you’re using your body as resistance, because then you can take it anywhere, right? You’re on vacation, you’re in a hotel room, you can just do your thing. And what’s your routine like? How much time do you spend every day working out?
Judy: Not more than an hour, and not every day. You have to be efficient. So right now, it’s a new month, I’m changing programs. And so it’s taking a little bit to kind of get acclimated to it. But right now my focus is on training well enough. So like, enough is good enough without getting overly sore, while still getting stronger.
Maryann: Right. And we’re all busy too, right? So we want to not spend three hours at the gym.
Judy: No, you know, if someone can give me two hours a week, then I’ll write them a program for two hours a week. If they can come three times, then three. And then I have people who will train four or five times a week and they get a different program.
Maryann: So do you get a lot of new clients after the new year? Like, is everybody still making those New Year’s resolutions? Or is it a time of refresh, still?
Judy: I think it’s interesting, because I’m not actively trying to launch, but I’ll take clients as they come. And this year, for some reason, November and December were a time where I got a lot of new clients. We’ll see what January is like, it’s only the third day. My big thing…like, this year I did the anti Black Friday. The thing is, if you want to get fit, you’re going to do it when you’re ready, not when it’s on sale. And if someone buys it on sale and doesn’t use it, then they feel bad because they’ve wasted their money.
Maryann: That’s a really good point. So your client needs to be ready.
Judy: Yeah, yeah. And maybe they’re ready in January, or maybe they just think they are because it’s like they ‘should’ be ready—in quotes—in January, but whenever it happens, it happens.
Maryann: What if a client comes to you and they say, I’m ready, I really want to make changes, I want to feel stronger. But they don’t know where to start. Like, how do you start with them?
Judy: I start with them. I meet them where they are. You know, we’ll meet, I’ll bring them through what they think is a workout, but it’s really a session where I’m watching to see what they can do. But I want them to feel like they’ve done a workout. And so the whole time, I’m just making observations and like, OK, this is what they’re ready for, this is not what they’re ready for. And then we take that point and go forward. That’s a little different online, but I do have online clients as well.
Maryann: I was gonna say, do you notice, particularly with resistance exercises, that clients over 40 tend to do things in maybe a little bit of an outdated way? I’m thinking back to the Jane Fonda years and how we didn’t really use our core the way we should have back in the day. Like, do you see residue of that?
Judy: I see a lot of residue of that. It is so funny, because people will say to me, well, why don’t we do more core exercises, and I say to them, if you’re listening to me, you will know that every single exercise is a core exercise. Because before you pick up a weight, or before you do a bodyweight squat or maybe a lunge or a push up, you’re engaging your core, so much so that you need to be out of breath. Because you’re working so hard. It’s up to us to work on our core. And any time you pick up anything—I don’t care if you’re picking up your purse or groceries, or shoveling snow. Shoveling snow, by the way, is a great workout.
Maryann: It’s a great workout, yeah. You don’t have much of it here in the Bay Area, but back in the day in New York, yeah.
Judy: Yeah, you can use it to your benefit. That’s a great cross training workout. It counts as cardio, it counts as resistance training.
Maryann: Good advice. So if it’s snowing where you are, guys, you know, pick up that shovel.
Judy: But use your core. Keep your back straight, right.
Maryann: But when I asked you that question, I was thinking about myself and how I had some back issues. And I went to a Pilates instructor. And she said, do some sit ups. Like you were saying you were observing, she was observing me. And I started doing these situps furiously like I would have in 1985. And she’s like, you’re killing your back. You’re doing it all wrong. And I didn’t realize because I was doing the same kind of floor exercises that I had been doing. So that was eye opening for me.
Judy: That sounds like a very observant person. And so I want to applaud her taking a look and noticing and helping you that way.
Maryann: Yeah. Well, what are some ways, Judy, that you help clients switch it up and keep it fun, especially if they’ve been working out for so many years and they’re doing the same thing over and over?
Judy: You know, it’s interesting, because our mind adapts and our body adapts. And when people come to work out, they want to be entertained. And this is why social media is very…people are very excited. You see something on social media, someone doing, you know, like a pistol squat on a BOSU with a kettlebell on their head, I don’t know. Chances are that’s not what got them fit. They’re doing that because they’re already fit. Chances are also that you’re probably looking at like maybe the ninth or 10th take, right? They didn’t get that right the first time they filmed it. And so it’s very deceiving. I forgot the question, I’m going back.
Maryann: [Laughs] How do you keep it fun?
Judy: Oh, variety. Yeah. My goal for clients is to not forget the fundamentals. And basically the one thing I try to do for my clients is I want them to get every body part worked twice a week. But it doesn’t have to be the same old four sets of 10, you know, or three sets of 12. And so it’s my job to actually keep the variety there. So now, if they’re coming twice a week, they’re probably going to get a full body workout twice a week. But if they’re coming four times a week, we can break it up into piecemeal, a little bit. For example, three times a week, we can do a little bit of a mix. So yeah, we try to introduce variety without losing sight of the fact that we need to work all our body parts twice a week.
Maryann: Right, right. You know, speaking of social media, on your Instagram, you talk a lot about mindset, right? What do you think about the mind-body connection and how your mindset plays into your fitness?
Judy: Uh-huh, 100%. I think that, like I said, you have to be ready to even start a program and you have to give yourself a lot of pep talks and believe in it. Because, you know, habit change is hard no matter what it is. I’ve been talking a lot the last week and a half about—because we’ve all been treating ourselves at the holidays—shifting from treating yourself to treating yourself right.
Maryann: I love that, and I saw that.
Judy: So it’s important to…It all starts right here. If you believe that you’re going to be a success, then the chances are you’re going to be more consistent. The habits that will lead you there now, there’s no guarantee, right? We can’t guarantee outcomes. But if you’re doing things that are going to point you in the direction of being healthier, you know, we need to do our homework too, and make sure we know it’s healthy. It’s not a fad diet, it’s not a detox, it’s not trying to lose five pounds in three weeks. You know?
Maryann: It’s lifestyle, right? We’re trying to rework that.
Judy: We are reworking our lifestyle.
Maryann: So cool. I love that. And how do we keep our confidence in our lives in midlife, when everything seems to be changing on us, right? Not just our hormones—kids could be leaving, relationships change, whatever anybody’s going through right now, right? Does that make it even harder?
Judy: Absolutely. I think it does. And especially as women who have families or just women in general, we’re used to being caregivers. And it sounds like such an overused phrase, but you really can’t help anyone else if you don’t help yourself first.
Maryann: I don’t think it’s used enough, actually, I feel like…yeah.
Judy: And it does mean taking care of your physical and emotional health. If it means spending quiet time, spend quiet time. If it means setting boundaries, we have to set boundaries.
Maryann: And you mentioned earlier the relationship between food and treating ourselves and treating ourselves right. Like, we have all this food in the house, right? We hosted holiday parties, and I’m looking at all this stuff yesterday, and I just want to throw like all the chocolate in the garbage, all this stuff people brought to my house on New Year’s Eve. My husband is saying you’re wasting food. And I was like, you know what, it just doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel horrible.
Judy: You know, my husband will say the same thing. And you’re right, it makes you feel horrible. So how good is it? I’ll tell you, I gave some of my kids the option to take what they wanted, when they left on the 27th. And the 27th was my cutoff date. And if they didn’t want it, it was going in the garbage.
Maryann: Good, I’m glad you said that. I feel justified, now. Thank you.
Judy: Well, think about this, if this is going to contribute to maybe, you know, increasing your risk for diabetes or heart disease or stroke, is it really a bargain that you eat it because you don’t want to throw it out? Or are you better off throwing it out? And you know, you’ve already enjoyed it, it doesn’t mean you have to finish it. And that’s, you know, a big mindset shift.
Maryann: It is. Even when I was shopping for the holidays, I really bought a lot less this year, because I was like, are we really going to eat this? And then everybody now comes over and they really don’t touch the sweets anymore, because everybody knows that this stuff is gonna kill them, you know? So they’re really not eating it. I think you have to be conscious of it.
Judy: We do have to be conscious of it. And I think there can be no guilt for throwing out food that does not treat your body well.
Maryann: Thank you, yeah. So what’s on your agenda for the new year? What are you excited about?
Judy: Oh, gosh. I love it when I start to write new programs. And so I just spent the last, gosh, the last week of December taking notes and gathering and watching and putting together for my two day week, three day week, four and five day week people. And I’m really, really excited to share that with people. So today, some of our in-person people had a few sessions this morning, and they were very, very excited. They’re like, wait, what are we doing? How are we doing this?
Maryann: Can you tell us a little bit about that program, for those who don’t know?
Judy: The program is actually…The goals for my program, I don’t have names for them, except maybe heavy day or not heavy day. But the goals are to get women to get stronger without getting hurt. And I want them to be able to keep their mobility and to work on balance, because it’s something that we naturally lose as we age as well. And so to me, it’s very exciting to get in there and see them. And like, somebody left today, and she said, I just did like four things I’ve never done before. And she’s like, how is that? And I’m like, they were just slight changes of traditional exercises that work.
Maryann: That’s great. And you bring up an interesting point about not getting hurt, because I was discussing this the other day with a bunch of friends. We were all talking about a couple of people we knew who were going skiing, and a few of us were saying that we’ve given up skiing, because we don’t want to get hurt doing something we don’t love and then not be able to do something we do love, like running or whatever we do, right? And I feel like now it kind of comes down to a choice in your life. Like what you should do and what you shouldn’t do, because injury is a real factor. Like, it happens more frequently, right?
Judy: It can happen more frequently, but it doesn’t have to. I mean, arthritis is arthritis, that’s something that we don’t have a whole lot of control over. We’re probably going to get arthritic joints, and I already have them. But you know, you bring up a great example, because I enjoyed playing tennis for like four days a week for 15 or 16 years. And I stopped. Well, I stopped because I was actually too busy. I had gotten into running, gotten into weightlifting, was doing a little bit of yoga, and I’m like, OK, that’s enough physical hours in a week. But at the end of this summer in August, I actually found that I kind of miss tennis. So I went back and played a little tennis and I was a little afraid of like, do you think my niece can do tennis, I’m 61 years old. And they were great. And I was like, wow, this strength training really works, like I’m okay. And I was really worried about the agility. I’m moving even though we’re talking. [Laughs]
Maryann: I know. You guys have to see her, she’s bouncing around right now.
Judy: I always stand up when I do these things. Anyways, I was really surprised that I could play tennis. And now it’s winter here in New York, so now we play paddle instead of tennis, which is a lot of fun. But it’s quick agility. And so I think if you go through the right ways to stay safe and learn how to squat properly…Learn how to deadlift, for example. Most people don’t want to deadlift because they think it hurts their back. But in fact, it actually helps their back if they learn how to do it right.
Maryann: So you’re saying the strength training will help you become overall stronger, so you can reduce the risk of injury doing what you love—the other activities.
Judy: 100%.
Maryann: OK. I don’t know if a lot of people think about that, right?
Judy: Yeah, a lot of people think of it the opposite. But no, it will help. I thought about it the opposite. Like, I didn’t think I could play tennis. And I’m like, Holy Toledo, I actually felt better than when I did 15 years ago.
Maryann: Oh, that’s so incredible, I’m so impressed. What if somebody’s out there, they can’t hire a personal trainer for whatever reason, they just want to start really slow with what they have at home or something not expensive and just start resistance training. What would you advise them to do?
Judy: Actually, if they hop over to my website, there are a couple of exercises that they can pick up. It’s just a free thing. You can pick up exercises for women over 40.
Maryann: Tell us your website. I’m gonna put it in the show notes, but tell us now.
Judy: OK, it’s gratefulfitnessny.com.
Maryann: Gratefulfitnessny.com. OK. And so you’ve got exercises they can do that doesn’t cost a thing.
Judy: No, you pop in your email and they’ll end up in your email box. And if you have any questions, you can always reach out to me about them, and I’ll answer questions.
Maryann: Very cool. Another thing you talk about on your Instagram is a lot of self love, self care? And how does that factor into your coaching sessions, like when you’re with clients?
Judy: Well, it’s interesting. Do you want me to give you the long answer or the short one?
Maryann: Give me whatever answer you want.
Judy: OK. So I’ve done a lot of thinking about this, and a lot of reading, and my inspiration for this is Les Brown. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of him. He’s a motivational speaker, you can Google him, fascinating guy. But I spent some time listening to a series of his lectures. And I said, this is it, this is what we’re missing. So five things that we need in order to stay motivated and keep motivated. Now, I haven’t thought about these in a while. Let’s see if I can read all of them off. In order to change, let’s say…I’m going to put this in the context of changing your behavior to a healthy lifestyle. You have to believe that number one, it’s possible. OK, then you have to believe that it’s necessary. The third thing you have to understand is that nobody can do it for you. The responsibility is all on you. So you have to take responsibility for making these changes. The fourth thing is to acknowledge that it’s hard. And I’m gonna quote Glennon Doyle with her most famous quote that everyone knows: we can do hard things. But I’ve been telling people this for years. It’s hard. It’s supposed to be hard. But the most important is the fifth point, the fact that you are worthy. You’re worthy of making these changes that are possible, necessary and hard. And it’s your responsibility to do it. You are worthy. And I’ll tell you why I don’t have it this way anymore, but for the longest time, I think it was 2019, every one of my passwords had the word worthy in it. And for two years—for a while, I would do a word of the year for two years—my word was worthiness. And I would share that with people. I’m like, you guys, you have to understand. Remember that old hair color commercial, was it L’Oreal, “Because You’re Worth It”?
Maryann: Yes, I do.
Judy: And when I talk to women in our age group, they all remember that commercial.
Maryann: Everyone remembers that, yeah. Do you have an “I’m worthy” tattoo somewhere that we should know about?
Judy: I don’t have any tattoos. I do have a cute little message that we put on some tank tops a couple of times that one of my clients came up with, and it says “grit plus attitude equals gratitude”.
Maryann: Oh, I love that. That’s awesome. But you’re right. I mean, the worthiness factor, of all the five points you mentioned, that’s probably the one that trips women up the most. Somehow having this, like, deep rooted feeling that they’re not worth it.
Judy: Especially in midlife, because, OK, we’re not trying to attract a mate as far as for childbearing. So nature’s like, you don’t need to be beautiful. And we’re like, but what if we think we’re worth being beautiful? What if we still want to be sexy? Right? And however you define it, and I’m not saying it’s a certain size or shape, it’s all between your ears.
Maryann: It’s an attitude. Completely, 100%. And plus, you know, we’re not dead now after our childbearing years. Some of us have 40, 50 years after that.
Judy: Let’s hope so. If we’re lucky, right, yeah. And I think the more active we stay—the more active in the right way, not like grinding our joints, you know…And I’m saying, don’t stop running if you run well and you can do it and you’re not getting hurt. But make sure you’re eating and strength training. And strength training will make a better runner out of whoever decides to run.
Maryann: It’s so true. When I do the Pilates, I’m faster and stronger at running.
Judy: Especially with the core.
Maryann: Yeah. I need to ask you this, Judy, because a lot of women in this space that we’re in, you know, midlife women, they talk about how it’s hard sometimes to even use the word midlife in their marketing and the title of their business, whatever. Because a lot of women resist that. They don’t like that word. Have you ever found that when you use that word?
Judy: 100% I had a client who I said, you know, we’re all in midlife here. And she looked at me and she said, how can you say that? And at the time I said, listen, I’m 59 years old. I said if I’m not in midlife, then it means I’m going to be living to be more than 118.
Maryann: [Laughs]
Judy: I go, statistically, we’re in midlife. But I did say I like to look at it like a bell curve. We’re gonna stay in this middle part for a long time. When we were infants, we were over here. Over here, I hope, is a very short time where we live in this healthy midlife area as long as we can and then die fast. I mean, OK, we have to die. But let’s…Oh, do I have that book up here? Old old book. Well, 1992, Deepak Chopra, Ageless Body, Timeless Mind.
Maryann: Oh, I never read that one.
Judy: Oh my gosh, I just spent November and December reading it. And I had to read it in small chunks, but it gets a lot into neuroplasticity, and a lot into quantum physics. And, you know, some of it is sciency and some of it isn’t, but the attitude is that you don’t have to pretty much retire to your rocking chair. You don’t. That’s a choice.
Maryann: Right. I’m gonna have to get that book, it sounds great. Yeah, no, you’re right. I mean, like 20 years ago, I think it was the census, you know, that defined midlife or middle age as 35 and over. And now I know women who are 45…You know, I can understand if you’re 40 you don’t want to be called midlife, but 40 is midlife. Yeah, it is. And I think there is a stigma associated with it, but we need to take back that word, and we need to redefine it and own it and make it seem amazing. Like you said, it’s the best part of life. It’s the biggest chunk, and it’s filled with possibility, don’t you think?
Judy: Oh, so much possibility. Think about this. Think about the wisdom that we have, and the stupid mistakes we made in our 20s and 30s. And a lot of people talk about having the wisdom and then they follow up with not having the body, and I’m like no, no, there’s no reason why we don’t have the body. There’s a little gravity, OK, right. I’ve got some like…Hello, gravity. It’s fine. Who cares?
Maryann: Well, if anybody doubts that you can have the body in midlife, I think they should mosey on over to Judy’s website and see her body. You are ripped, girl, you look amazing, and you’re an inspiration to all of us. So there.
Judy: Thank you very much. I appreciate that. It’s actually been very hard for me to accept compliments over the years, and using that worthiness mindset has helped me to say thank you very much.
Maryann: That’s right. We must accept compliments, right? I agree.
Judy: Yeah. Without conditions, you know? Like, oh, that’s a cute dress. Well, I bought it on sale. No, that’s a cute dress. Thank you very much.
Maryann: So funny you say that. I had a friend from London who asked me about a dress or a purse. And I said the same thing. Oh, I got it on sale. Right? She goes, why do Americans always do that? The first thing they say after you compliment them is that they got it on sale.
Judy: I know, right? Nobody cares. Because then maybe they feel bad if they didn’t get it on sale.
Maryann: Or you have to justify owning it. Just like you have to justify being in good shape or whatever, you know?
Judy: Yeah. Or I’ve had a lot of people say to me…You know, my father was an athlete, I come from a very athletic family. They’re like, well, you have the genetics. I go, well, the genetics doesn’t do you any good if you’re sitting in a chair.
Maryann: That’s right. Well, I can tell everybody out there, I do not have the genetics. Every woman on my maternal side has been unhealthy. Diabetes, cancer. You know, on my dad’s side, it was like heart disease. It was just awful. And both my sister and I have made it our mission in life to stay healthy.
Judy: Can I just toot a horn for a second?
Maryann: Go ahead.
Judy: OK, so I have this wonderful sister who’s truly my idol. She’s two years older than me. And for most of her life, most of her adult life, she weighed double what she should have weighed. And literally in midlife, she was over 50 when she started this journey, maybe she was about 50. She was in that range. She had been on diets for years, decades, and failed. She was never honest with herself. Something clicked, and she decided that she was going to get her body to a healthy size. And it’s been probably 11 years at this point. She lost 120 pounds.
Maryann: Wow, good for her. That’s amazing.
Judy: And she has maintained it for 11 years, and she weighs 120 pounds. And I think she really thought she was gonna die. And I’ve had her on my podcast talking. But if anyone can change their mindset, you take someone who’s been morbidly obese their entire adult life and waits until they’re…not waiting, but she she was ready.
Maryann: She was ready. Right, right. That’s amazing. How does she feel? Does she has so much energy now?
Judy: Oh my gosh, it’s wonderful. And she really is amazing, because her own personal approach is abstinence. So she doesn’t ever have sugar or flour. And she will cook these things for people, and you know, she gets a lot of joy out of cooking. But she also gets a lot of joy out of treating herself right.
Maryann: That’s so great. And you know, a lot of people that are professionals will say, don’t totally take something out of your diet. Don’t deprive yourself like that. But I say, if it works for you to just stay away from something that doesn’t serve you well, don’t, right? Don’t eat it.
Judy: Yeah, I think it takes a lot of thought. And when I work with my nutrition clients, I’m like, listen, I get the all or nothing. If you feel like you have an addiction, like she truly feels she has an addiction to sugar, and of course flour, because starches broken down in your body are sugar. And so for her, that works. Would I recommend that for everyone? No, we would have to talk and figure out, you know, how that goes.
Maryann: Right. And I’m so happy that you have a great relationship with your sister. I have a sister too. I adore her. In fact, we did a podcast episode together about how sibling relationships change in midlife for the better. So I was excited to do that with her.
Judy: Oh my gosh, I want to go and listen to that. Because honestly, that’s where we’re at. We have gotten closer and closer. And it’s awesome.
Maryann: That’s so cool. So is there anything else that you want to tell women out there who are looking to make change and feel healthy in the new year?
Judy: I would say go back and rewind this podcast and listen to those five points. And if you have to keep hitting pause and write them down, you know, know that you are worth it, and that it is your responsibility. So when you’re ready, you’ll get there, you know?
Maryann: Right. Thank you so much, this was so great. Happy New Year.
Judy: Happy New Year, and thank you so much for letting me share this message.
